And this is the part where I back up and feel like I have to say liking the idea of soulmates is fine, and I completely understand the draw of having there be someone out there for you, especially if you don’t have that right now. It can be a driving force to keep you moving, and that’s good. That’s important. It just can go very wrong, and for a lot of people, I think it’s ruined things.
Which is actually why it goes hand in hand with religion for me. I don’t have any issue with either on their own.
It’s when they completely override or take the place of being a complete human being that it bothers me.
With religion, it takes being a complete human being capable of compassion and logic and personal decision making and replaces it all with dogma, fervor, and circular reasoning. You stop being a person and become a parrot.
With soulmates, it takes being a complete human being capable of trust and empathy and being what you need to be to be happy and replaces it with this constant searching for something you’ve been told you should have. You stop being a person and become a part.
Relationships don’t just happen, they aren’t stumbled on like some hidden treasure. Even for the remarkable few stories where they do, they sure as hell don’t stay that way. They have to be carefully built and even more carefully maintained. They require work and the dream of soulmates has eroded that understanding for a lot of people. They don’t understand the work involved and pass up potential relationships because it doesn’t have some special thing. A sign, something that says FOREVER.
Some of the greatest possibilities are completely ignored because they don’t meet some sort of idea, some sort of spark that screams DESTINY.
But even worse than that, the inherent problem with soulmates is it’s built around only one model of relationships and not everyone is going to fit into it.
Not everyone needs to have an “other half”. Some people are perfectly happy alone. Not everyone is into the whole “til death do us part” thing. Not everyone is into one person. In the end, they want the same thing as anyone else. To be happy, and for other people to be happy.
Soulmates are a nice idea and, like the afterlife, can be a great ideal to motivate people to great things. But it has to be grounded, and can’t be the only thing guiding you, otherwise you just become a zealot, and anyone who does something different or wants something different is going to threaten you.
do you know how many love triangles could be solved with a poly relationship
the only kind of love triangle i’m interested in
Probably not very many, honestly. I respect people’s decisions to be in poly relationships, but in all honesty, they gross me out. I believe in soulmates, but I don’t believe that a person can have more than one. And I don’t believe that a person can be in love with more than one person at a time. It’s a religious thing for me. I’m sorry, I mean no disrespect. But I could never be with someone who was in a poly relationship (I had a boyfriend once who told me he dated two girls who were dating each other, and I cried for hours and hours), or even an open relationship. If other people want to, that’s cool. But I never would (or even could) and I couldn’t deal with someone who had been in one. I don’t like to share and I don’t want someone who’s willing to share.
"I’m not judging anybody who lives that sort of lifestyle, I just think they’re disgusting and wrong.”
this blog is kind of a treasure trove of dumb though
Thinking about it, I think that poly relationships WOULD solve a lot of problems because for someone to try it, the implication is people would be getting over the various elements of jealousy, entitlement, presumed ownership, etc that make them so irksome, or at the very least just getting the fuck over the “only pairs because reasons” BS and making an actual personal decision, which even if they didn’t go for a poly relationship would at least mean a net gain in emotional maturity.
But that response…
I’m just gonna say it. Believing in soulmates is fucking stupid.
I guess this is the part where I admit to myself I believed in soulmates the same way I believed in God/religion.
You’re building your entire ideal and handling of relationships based on something inherently unknowable, probably ignoring a lot of great potential relationships because they aren’t matching it, and ignoring the fact that all relationships are built not found. Using “soulmates” to justify your decisions instead of understanding yourself and the people around you to make the best decision possible is just irresponsible and sometimes I wonder if it isn’t why our society is so rampant with emotional immaturity.
Doesn’t surprise me then that this is “a religious thing” for the responder. What does surprise me is they “cried for hours and hours” over the knowledge that someone was it seems in some form of a poly relationship.
I don’t want to be mean, but… grow the fuck up?
Maybe I shouldn’t talk because I really know nothing about this sort of thing, just my own personal ponderings realizing some of the stuff I was told growing up or just learned from everything around me didn’t fit.
But CRYING over something in someone’s past that didn’t even involve you, and was (presumably) an entirely consensual situation?
I don’t understand people who say they don’t want to share. I honestly don’t. Sharing is caring. Sharing someone you care about with someone else means you care about that person as well.
Isn’t that kinda better than just the entire world all only caring about their little pairs and nobody else in the world?
…so I’m digging the toy box but am unable to get several items to be added to the collection such as the hardened shell and golden banana. Further more, there are a lot of items not listed as toys that should be such as Jaina’s Locket, guild battle standards, and more. Thoughts? I will say that I am super glad to have my bag space back again: I’m already at 72 items in my toy box with many more that should be added.
My thoughts exactly, I don’t know why some things can’t be added yet :/
I’ll be the nerd and try to put my game designer hat on and answer.
The Toybox is for toys. Toys are items with very little purpose besides fun and cosmetic purposes. Items that affect, provide, or are a part of gameplay, that affect or increase the abilities of the player’s abilities, or otherwise provide meaningful actions are not toys.
Turning yourself into a wolf or arakkoa, with no changes to the actual performance on your character, is cosmetic. Small vanity summons, objects placed in the world that do nothing (including banners), transformations, and actual toys (holiday items!) are all toys.
Part of the game, as it is designed, it to present meaningful choices, and inventory management is part of that gameplay. Teleports are a good example of this. Teleports present meaningful, effective gameplay. A teleport isn’t a toy. They have a large tangible effect on how you interact with the world and the intention is for items that provide such an effect to have that feeling of tangibility by the item taking up space. This is why the hearthstone has always remained an item instead of simply being a spell.
Items that need to be equipped have another layer of tangibility and won’t be made toys as their effects tend to not be at all cosmetic or fun oriented, and ones that are, those are prime candidates for being changed away from equippable items later on. (Also making equippable items part of a storage like that has a lot of technical and design hurdles, which is part of why the related heirloom storage didn’t make it in 6.0)
To put it another way, the issue with the toybox was all of the fun items were fun, but players felt punished keeping them. You lost space for meaningful, useful items by wanting to have fun. Now, that is at least partly removed as a concern, players can keep these items for their cosmetic entertainment factor and not sacrifice useful items.
It’s similar to the splitting of Major and Minor glyphs. You aren’t presented with the choice of having your Stampede be all the same pet vs having your Disengage go further. Majors present gameplay changes, while Minors are cosmetic or quality of life. Some minor glyphs even are actual toys (Glyph of Aspects, Crittermorph, Rain of Frogs).
Items that provide meaningful gameplay, however, whether they be teleports (which allow you to move around the world quickly), items that have other effects besides cosmetics (like the Aqua Jewel’s swim speed buff), standards (which provide buffs to players), and any item with a limited number of charges are not to be removed for the concerns of inventory because they are on the same level as everything else that is part of inventory management.
You manage your loot. You manage materials. You manage useful consumables (and items with charges are basically consumables). You manage useful utilities. Items like teleports and banners and such are part of the inventory because they are part of the gameplay, just as the inventory is part of the gameplay.
Inventory is gameplay. You have to manage it.
My main, as a hunter engineer, sacrifices an entire 28 slots at least of space to carry 10-12 teleport items for ridiculously fast travel and an assortment of useful items for performing grinding runs, some of which provide buffs and some which just make my life easier, like bank and mailbox access. That’s part of the gameplay. I’m leveraging that against space to collect loot.
This intention extends to bank space as well. Transmog has become a very powerful element of play and motivation for play than anticipated and is probably taking up the vast majority of people’s bank space. But this is a largely cosmetic collection. This is why there are long term plans to create a better feature to store and utilize gear models for transmog than the current one (which is mostly reliant on void storage).
Fun and cosmetic is the line drawn for the definition of “toy”, but collecting is another factor. Some of them are things people just want to collect and have no other real purpose for, hence the placement of the toybox alongside mounts and pets.
And of course, items may still be added to the toybox later on, but it won’t include items that actually do things. Because that’s the entire point of inventory:
To provide a limit to useful things and present a meaningful choice, because that’s essentially what gameplay is, and why Jaina’s Locket is not a toy, but Sylvanas’ music box is.
All of my 6.0 images. I actually really like these.
It’s done. Exhaustion caught up to me and I missed my last chance to do Proving Grounds pre-patch, but that’s fine. That wasn’t what I wanted done anyway. That was a greed goal.
Haze got her CMs done. I paid a visit to the portal before it goes. I did almost everything. If it was up to me, I’d have dragged it along until I got every little thing, but I finished so much, and with the patch finally here, things can move on and I don’t need the time limit anymore.
The decision is out of my hands now. Servers are down. Time to get something I’ve been sorely missing these past few weeks.
I’ve done more than enough.
The soundtrack to this moment.
I really have my work cut out for me. Things aren’t going to be made easy and I’m going to have to do something I don’t like short term in order to secure things for myself long term.
And I’m going to need help.
I’m going to need to look for it. I’m going to need to ask for it. I’m going to need to stay on top of people for it. But I need help.
And some of the help I want, I won’t get. So I have to get better, and do everything I can to get out of this.
I’ve spent two months crumpled in a heap like paper in the wastebin, losing a battle with my own guilt and regret. I don’t feel comfortable or safe where I am. I don’t feel at all like I have a right to take care of myself where I am. I’m very close to taking the first half-baked chance to leave I get, just to get away, as the environment is keeping me stuck and complacent.
The most frustrating part about everything is how aware I am of it all. I see what is happening, I see what is causing it, and I see the flaws in the logic putting me there, but can’t quite push it off. I argue with myself, sabotage myself, and when I think I have it figured out, either cut myself down thinking I couldn’t possibly be that smart or think I’m worthless for being smart enough to figure it out and still unable to change.
But I have to think differently.
I’ve missed a lot of things, and lost a lot of chances, let a lot of my life pass me by trying to avoid making a horrible mistake. But I have avoided those mistakes. I haven’t put myself in a dead end and I can still change things.
It’s a long and probably painful road ahead of me, but there’s still time.
And when I stumble, I have that character up there to remind me. All of these characters to remind me.
Who I am. What I want. What I can do. What I was. What I did. What’s still ahead.
And that I have to keep moving.